Affair-Proof Marriage Research Paper

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Affair-Proof Marriages
Affair-proofing a marriage cannot be done if couples hide their heads in the sand. Some spouses believe that their spouse is the exception or “different”, and would never take part in an affair despite unmet needs may receive a devastating shock one day (Harley, 2011, p. 20). The reality is that no marriage is beyond penetration (Shriver & Shriver, 2009, p. 101). According to Gary and Mona Shriver (2009), “The self-assurance that this is one area we could never fall into is a lie for every couple who believe it. Godly people sin. Godly people fall. Good marriages have problems (p. 101).” 1 Corinthians 10:12 states, “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall (ESV).” It is important for all married couples to be on guard, recognize the danger of adultery, and be careful so that they do not fall into temptation. 1 Peter 5:8 warns people to be watchful because the devil prowls around as a roaring lion does seeking someone to devour. Any cracks that are present in a marriage will be used as a way for Satan to tempt spouses and seek to destroy God’s design for marriage. Couples can make themselves less susceptible to adultery through prayer. Couples should pray to ask God to reveal truths about their marriage that they may be missing and be willing to take the time to address problems before they gather strength (Shriver & Shriver, 2009, p. 102). According to Randall (2009), it is easier to prevent an affair than to stop an affair once it has started. Couples must first understand that they are vulnerable in order to recognize their need for protective measures (Shriver & Shriver, 2009, p. 201). Nancy Anderson (2004) discusses the concept of hedges in her book as a way to affair-proof marriage based on Mark 12:1. This verse states that a man planted a vineyard and set a hedge around it. One should think of their marriage in this way. The day a couple says “I do” they are essentially planting their vineyard (Anderson, 2004, p. 46). Anderson (2004) states, “A hedge makes the statement, “Private Property, No Trespassing.” The symbolic hedges around our marriages serve the same purposes. As a married couple, your goal as co-owners of
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201-203, 2009) Anderson uses the acronym HEDGES to help couples understand how they can protect their marriages from external invaders and internal discontent. The acronym stands for hearing, encouraging, dating, guarding, educating, and satisfying (Anderson, 2004, p. 47). When planting a garden, one of the most important things to consider is the condition of the soil (Anderson, 2004, p. 47). Anderson (2004) states, “Assuming that Christ is the soil of your marriage, all the hedges, in order to grow to maturity, must be planted in Him (p.47).” Couples must understand that their hedges will grow, change, and fill in as their marriage takes shape. Once couples plant hedges in their marriage, they must have a reservoir of water to draw from (Anderson, 2004, p. 48). Marriages that are well watered have deep roots which allow couples to withstand the storms of life. Marriages that are in drought, however, have weak and shallow roots. When the storms of life come they will damage and eventually destroy the marriages in drought (Anderson, 2004, p.

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