The Human Porch Begins: Part I of the S.T.U.C.C.O. Story arch
Dust and fine rubble fell from the sky, settling like fine snow on the rocky ground. The cold Canadian air swept from the north, fanning the flames of the burning research facility into towering monsters of fire and heat. With haste, two figures raced from the building, climbing over the metal fences and retreating into the dense woods. Tired as they were, they had to run away. Run far and fast. Go anywhere but back. Back where they wood be poked and prodded like animals. Animals with insanely stupid superpowers. Randy Sedarchips was the new face of Sam’s Club San Francisco. As the newly promoted manager, he was determined to bring in the money while simultaneously …show more content…
As acting manager he was pretty sure that he expressed his thoughts on putting porches on top of other porches. He couldn’t dwell on the thought of porches though, because the guards had entered the electronics aisle. Now was his time to escape! He stepped off the porch display but fell to the ground in agony. His limbs felt like fire! He was on the floor for a good 5 minutes, writhing in pain. It felt as if his body was shrinking. Like ~foreshadowing~ his body was transforming from being an object into a human being. A fortnight later he got up, ran out the back door of the Sam’s club, and located the bike rack. There! His unicycle was still chained up. He quickly fished out the lock from his front pocket and unlocked the unicycle. Now freed from its metal prison, he mounted his steed and unicycled home. Now ol’ One Legged Usain was a real wonder. It used to be an amazing mountain bike but when he was younger, Randy could only afford half; and so he only got half. Although it was only half the bike it used to be, it still carried our hero down the busy streets of San Francisco in gut-wrenching speeds of 11 miles per hour, down the highway, and to his neighborhood on Street street. He unlocked the door and shimmied inside. Entering his living room, he half expected his wife to be there, impatiently tapping her foot and getting ready to lecture him on how she was worried sick but instead he entered his living room seeing a bald man eating cereal in a …show more content…
He had an unusually high voice and a very heavy Canadian accent. He lifted up one of his pruny hands and in it was a white bowl with fries, cheese curds, and some brown sauce. “Randy, would you like to eat some poutine, eh?” Randy had no reason to eat the poutine. Nor did he have a reason to trust the bald man, especially after he had broken his favorite bowl, which he sculpted himself, but Randy cautiously ate the Canadian street food. Telling himself that Canadians were known for being kindhearted folks, Randy allowed his high food standards to temporarily be lowered. After all, what could the poutine do to
Dust and fine rubble fell from the sky, settling like fine snow on the rocky ground. The cold Canadian air swept from the north, fanning the flames of the burning research facility into towering monsters of fire and heat. With haste, two figures raced from the building, climbing over the metal fences and retreating into the dense woods. Tired as they were, they had to run away. Run far and fast. Go anywhere but back. Back where they wood be poked and prodded like animals. Animals with insanely stupid superpowers. Randy Sedarchips was the new face of Sam’s Club San Francisco. As the newly promoted manager, he was determined to bring in the money while simultaneously …show more content…
As acting manager he was pretty sure that he expressed his thoughts on putting porches on top of other porches. He couldn’t dwell on the thought of porches though, because the guards had entered the electronics aisle. Now was his time to escape! He stepped off the porch display but fell to the ground in agony. His limbs felt like fire! He was on the floor for a good 5 minutes, writhing in pain. It felt as if his body was shrinking. Like ~foreshadowing~ his body was transforming from being an object into a human being. A fortnight later he got up, ran out the back door of the Sam’s club, and located the bike rack. There! His unicycle was still chained up. He quickly fished out the lock from his front pocket and unlocked the unicycle. Now freed from its metal prison, he mounted his steed and unicycled home. Now ol’ One Legged Usain was a real wonder. It used to be an amazing mountain bike but when he was younger, Randy could only afford half; and so he only got half. Although it was only half the bike it used to be, it still carried our hero down the busy streets of San Francisco in gut-wrenching speeds of 11 miles per hour, down the highway, and to his neighborhood on Street street. He unlocked the door and shimmied inside. Entering his living room, he half expected his wife to be there, impatiently tapping her foot and getting ready to lecture him on how she was worried sick but instead he entered his living room seeing a bald man eating cereal in a …show more content…
He had an unusually high voice and a very heavy Canadian accent. He lifted up one of his pruny hands and in it was a white bowl with fries, cheese curds, and some brown sauce. “Randy, would you like to eat some poutine, eh?” Randy had no reason to eat the poutine. Nor did he have a reason to trust the bald man, especially after he had broken his favorite bowl, which he sculpted himself, but Randy cautiously ate the Canadian street food. Telling himself that Canadians were known for being kindhearted folks, Randy allowed his high food standards to temporarily be lowered. After all, what could the poutine do to