From a young age, I have been taught by my mom what it means to be a moral, compassionate, and tolerant person in today’s society. In addition, I am a very religious person and am in complete agreement with the Buddhist views of not harming other sentient beings, having a calm mind to access all situations, and not “judging of a book by it’s cover”. But that doesn’t mean I’ve been able to live my life completely by those standards. A very touchy and personal topic I’ve never really been able to face head-on about is my appearance. Not only now, but ever since I was young, once topics such as beauty, health, and weight appeared, I would be the first one to shy away from the conversation. I remember specifically when I had an argument with my dad and my feelings at that time were shattered, if they could be shattered any more than they already were. I remember the roaring that sounded something like, “You waste your mom’s money on a gym membership that you don’t use! I go to the gym everyday, why are you so lazy?” or “Who likes fat girls? If you ask me, I don’t!” Words hurt a lot more than actions, especially words that come from people who are immediate family. The standards in which I have chosen to live by are constantly challenged when issues like such arise. Keeping calm becomes the last priority and what even is tolerance? It’s almost like all the willpower I have is just thrown out the window without a second thought and immediately, retaliation becomes a natural reflex. Of course, in time, I only grew resentful and uncaring towards such words. Let’s just conclude I didn’t exactly return any nice words for my dad to hear
From a young age, I have been taught by my mom what it means to be a moral, compassionate, and tolerant person in today’s society. In addition, I am a very religious person and am in complete agreement with the Buddhist views of not harming other sentient beings, having a calm mind to access all situations, and not “judging of a book by it’s cover”. But that doesn’t mean I’ve been able to live my life completely by those standards. A very touchy and personal topic I’ve never really been able to face head-on about is my appearance. Not only now, but ever since I was young, once topics such as beauty, health, and weight appeared, I would be the first one to shy away from the conversation. I remember specifically when I had an argument with my dad and my feelings at that time were shattered, if they could be shattered any more than they already were. I remember the roaring that sounded something like, “You waste your mom’s money on a gym membership that you don’t use! I go to the gym everyday, why are you so lazy?” or “Who likes fat girls? If you ask me, I don’t!” Words hurt a lot more than actions, especially words that come from people who are immediate family. The standards in which I have chosen to live by are constantly challenged when issues like such arise. Keeping calm becomes the last priority and what even is tolerance? It’s almost like all the willpower I have is just thrown out the window without a second thought and immediately, retaliation becomes a natural reflex. Of course, in time, I only grew resentful and uncaring towards such words. Let’s just conclude I didn’t exactly return any nice words for my dad to hear