Comedian and author Aziz Ansari’s nonfiction book, Modern Romance, explores the evolutions that has come about in the dating game come the age of the Internet. Cowritten with sociologist and New York University professor Eric Klinenberg, the book also offers a psychological standpoint behind many of these new dating “habits,” so to speak. After reading Ansari’s analysis of how the Internet has revolutionized sex, dating, and marriage for younger Americans, it is clear that this change brings about positives, such as emerging adulthood and a seemingly endless list of options, and negatives, such as the temptation to cheat and a paradox of choice. One of the lesser realized advantages to online dating is that now, people can experience what
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With the advent of social media, and the opportunity to date across time zones and chat with people based on interests, the realm of cheating has changed just as much as the realm of dating. As Ansari writes, in the past, anyone who wished to commit any adulterous acts would need to "sneak away to a remote bar or restaurant to reduce the risk of being spotted" (189). Flirting could only happen "in person or over landline. People would have codes...Now you can be in bed with your spouse...[while she's] sending your neighbor a photo of her Mrs. Pouterson" (185). Nowadays, because flirting can take place strictly online, with no need to actually meet or speak in person, cheating can be much more discreet and seemingly harmless. Contact names can be changed and many people set a password lock on their phones; cheating no longer requires moonlight escapades and sneaking out. All it can be is a couple of texts, without even needing to leave the comfort of the bed. Ansari introduces readers to the idea that messages can "quickly escalate from innocuous to very sexual," providing examples such as the Anthony Weiner Facebook messages, where a man messages a lady named Lisa. The messages begin with something along the lines of political talk, but in the span of eight messages, Lisa has already offered " [getting] drunk and …show more content…
With seemingly an endless list of options, it has become easier to connect with people of the same interests. As Ansari puts it, “today, if you own a smartphone, you’re carrying a 24-7 singles bar in your pocket” (31). With this new access to a mélange of people, the entire view of marriage has evolved as well from marrying the next door neighbor to finding the perfect person, “not just someone who was pleasant to start a family with” (20). In the past, people did not get married because they “were madly in love; [they] married because [they] could make a family together…Waiting for true love was a luxury that many, especially women, could not afford” (22). In fact, more than half the women polled in the early 1960’s “admitted they would be willing to marry someone they didn’t love” (22). Ansari quotes historian and author Stephanie Coontz who says that “marriage was too vital an economic and political institution to be entered into solely on the basis of something as irrational as love” (23). However, this view on marriage has changed drastically ever since then. Today, marriage is about “finding a life partner. Someone we love” (22). With the advent of online dating and having a whole network of available singles, the idea that marriage no longer has to be for economic reasons has skyrocketed. Nowadays, people spend
With the advent of social media, and the opportunity to date across time zones and chat with people based on interests, the realm of cheating has changed just as much as the realm of dating. As Ansari writes, in the past, anyone who wished to commit any adulterous acts would need to "sneak away to a remote bar or restaurant to reduce the risk of being spotted" (189). Flirting could only happen "in person or over landline. People would have codes...Now you can be in bed with your spouse...[while she's] sending your neighbor a photo of her Mrs. Pouterson" (185). Nowadays, because flirting can take place strictly online, with no need to actually meet or speak in person, cheating can be much more discreet and seemingly harmless. Contact names can be changed and many people set a password lock on their phones; cheating no longer requires moonlight escapades and sneaking out. All it can be is a couple of texts, without even needing to leave the comfort of the bed. Ansari introduces readers to the idea that messages can "quickly escalate from innocuous to very sexual," providing examples such as the Anthony Weiner Facebook messages, where a man messages a lady named Lisa. The messages begin with something along the lines of political talk, but in the span of eight messages, Lisa has already offered " [getting] drunk and …show more content…
With seemingly an endless list of options, it has become easier to connect with people of the same interests. As Ansari puts it, “today, if you own a smartphone, you’re carrying a 24-7 singles bar in your pocket” (31). With this new access to a mélange of people, the entire view of marriage has evolved as well from marrying the next door neighbor to finding the perfect person, “not just someone who was pleasant to start a family with” (20). In the past, people did not get married because they “were madly in love; [they] married because [they] could make a family together…Waiting for true love was a luxury that many, especially women, could not afford” (22). In fact, more than half the women polled in the early 1960’s “admitted they would be willing to marry someone they didn’t love” (22). Ansari quotes historian and author Stephanie Coontz who says that “marriage was too vital an economic and political institution to be entered into solely on the basis of something as irrational as love” (23). However, this view on marriage has changed drastically ever since then. Today, marriage is about “finding a life partner. Someone we love” (22). With the advent of online dating and having a whole network of available singles, the idea that marriage no longer has to be for economic reasons has skyrocketed. Nowadays, people spend