Imagine, going through your entire life in a constant state of unsureness. Unsureness of who you are as a person, of what you’re doing with your life, unsureness of the very world around you. Now imagine also going through life in a perpetual state of unacceptance. Constantly teeter tottering between two worlds with your foot never firmly planted in either, with all eyes upon you and none watching at the exact same time. Imagine the abuse and the neglect you would feel, the loneliness, the heartbreak, the sorrow. Now stop imagining and realize that this is the life of someone else. This is the life of Jess Goldberg, the stone butch. The novel Stone Butch Blues written by Leslie Feinberg follows the life of stone butch Jess Goldberg. To understand
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Throughout the novel, Jess is fully aware that she is not a cis-gendered female as society would prefer her to be. She, unlike her sister Rachel, has never felt comfort in skirts, dresses and long hair. Jess’ only admiration for the “girly-girly” type came in the form of the appreciation and the attraction for the femme lesbians she met throughout her life. The poem begins with “Our whole life a translation-the permissible fibs,” I take this to mean that life is essentially made up of acceptable …show more content…
This chapter marks the point where Jess is both at her best and worst. The lines of the poem I relate to Jess’ experiences as the oppressors take all the value from Jess that she has built. Her status among the butches, her growing rate of happiness all ripped from her in the cruelest of way much like paint being burned from a surface. Although, raped in high school this is the first time Jess is really completely and totally broken down. She is treated as less than a rag, head shoved in a dirty toilet and body violated to the worst extent. It goes to the point where Jess checks out and imagines herself anywhere else. The events that transpire up until this point lead Jess to become, in all regards, a stone butch. She is hardened to the point that even if someone could understand, words still could not express the pain and mistreatment. “Trying to tell the doctor where it hurts,” lines 11-12 of the poem makes me think of Jess’ experience truly losing her virginity. Although she is taught by Angie how to bring pleasure to another, Jess cannot truly allow another to bring pleasure to her as she has become so enclosed within herself that getting to her heart is seemingly unobtainable
Throughout the novel, Jess is fully aware that she is not a cis-gendered female as society would prefer her to be. She, unlike her sister Rachel, has never felt comfort in skirts, dresses and long hair. Jess’ only admiration for the “girly-girly” type came in the form of the appreciation and the attraction for the femme lesbians she met throughout her life. The poem begins with “Our whole life a translation-the permissible fibs,” I take this to mean that life is essentially made up of acceptable …show more content…
This chapter marks the point where Jess is both at her best and worst. The lines of the poem I relate to Jess’ experiences as the oppressors take all the value from Jess that she has built. Her status among the butches, her growing rate of happiness all ripped from her in the cruelest of way much like paint being burned from a surface. Although, raped in high school this is the first time Jess is really completely and totally broken down. She is treated as less than a rag, head shoved in a dirty toilet and body violated to the worst extent. It goes to the point where Jess checks out and imagines herself anywhere else. The events that transpire up until this point lead Jess to become, in all regards, a stone butch. She is hardened to the point that even if someone could understand, words still could not express the pain and mistreatment. “Trying to tell the doctor where it hurts,” lines 11-12 of the poem makes me think of Jess’ experience truly losing her virginity. Although she is taught by Angie how to bring pleasure to another, Jess cannot truly allow another to bring pleasure to her as she has become so enclosed within herself that getting to her heart is seemingly unobtainable