It is the shared experiences that we impart with and our personal perceptions of the world around us that truly influence our ability to find a sense of belonging. The level of belonging we identify with is directly governed by these intrinsic values that we uphold. In the memoir “Romulus, My Father” (1998) by Raimond Gaita, these ideas are explored through the protagonist, Raimond Gaita and his promiscuous mother, Christine, as their separate ideals and views become juxtaposed to demonstrate the depth of belonging each of them possess. In the comparable short story, “Neighbours” by Tim Winton, a newly-wed couple find themselves segregated from the street filled with European immigrants but are able to assimilate through their shared experiences
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This notion is further accentuated in the text, ‘Romulus, My Father’. When Raimond goes swimming with Hora, it demonstrates the strength of their connection through their experience. “When in it, he gave whoops of pleasure, splashed furiously, dived under, swam powerfully forwards, backwards and on his side, as though born into it. I needed to swim in order to share this part of his life.” Gaita employs cumulative listing in this scene to convey in detail the intense pleasure Hora felt when in the water. Although swimming was something Raimond did not have much interest in, he sacrificed his self-interest in order to share this experience with Hora and thus, develop a strong connection with him. When Christine passes away, Raimond and Romulus are faced with her grave. “It took years for my father and me to even begin to resolve our intense relationship… For that reason, the grave remained unmarked”. The use of strong imagery of the unmarked grave enables Gaita is able to emphasize the non-existent connection Christine has with her son and husband. However, through the strong connection of Raimond and Romulus, they are able to finally begin to resolve their conflicting ideas on Christine. On the other hand, through the negative experiences shared with Christine, there is no connection between them, as seen evident by the unmarked grave, and Romulus. Thus, shared experiences may develop strong connections, or may negate them and shape our ability to find a sense of
This notion is further accentuated in the text, ‘Romulus, My Father’. When Raimond goes swimming with Hora, it demonstrates the strength of their connection through their experience. “When in it, he gave whoops of pleasure, splashed furiously, dived under, swam powerfully forwards, backwards and on his side, as though born into it. I needed to swim in order to share this part of his life.” Gaita employs cumulative listing in this scene to convey in detail the intense pleasure Hora felt when in the water. Although swimming was something Raimond did not have much interest in, he sacrificed his self-interest in order to share this experience with Hora and thus, develop a strong connection with him. When Christine passes away, Raimond and Romulus are faced with her grave. “It took years for my father and me to even begin to resolve our intense relationship… For that reason, the grave remained unmarked”. The use of strong imagery of the unmarked grave enables Gaita is able to emphasize the non-existent connection Christine has with her son and husband. However, through the strong connection of Raimond and Romulus, they are able to finally begin to resolve their conflicting ideas on Christine. On the other hand, through the negative experiences shared with Christine, there is no connection between them, as seen evident by the unmarked grave, and Romulus. Thus, shared experiences may develop strong connections, or may negate them and shape our ability to find a sense of