As a person, I never choose a side. I am both introverted and extroverted, both confident and insecure, both positive and negative, both impulsive and cautious. I’m a mix of everything because although I love talking to people I hate talking to strangers. Although I like crop tops I feel insecure the whole time I wear them. Although I think there is good in everyone I believe the world is a terrible place. How people view me changes drastically from person to person because how I act can change a lot based on my relationship with them.
My behavior is mainly affected by those around me. If I am surrounded by people I don’t know I am often very quiet and introverted. I speak in a smaller voice, tuck in my shoulders, wring my …show more content…
One of which is that “I’m not good enough”, I feel as though I’m not trying hard enough and that everything I have done is useless, I will never be good enough to make anyone proud or do anything with my life. Another mindset I have is that “Everyone is judging me and secretly they dislike me”, I know it’s ridiculous, but sometimes I start thinking that all my friends and everyone I think cares about me is actually just pitying me or they’re talking about me behind my back. I start believing this with no evidence or reason. Then, eventually, I snap out it and realize how there is no logic behind this thought. When making a decision I either think about every scenario and the impact it could have on my entire life or I don’t think about it at all. There’s no in-between. When faced with a choice that requires a quick decision I choose the first thing that pops into my brain then spend hours regretting that decision and think about what I should have done. Or, when faced with a choice that I have more time to think about I play out everything that could go wrong from each option and choose from there. I have a hard time making good quick decisions and my life story is proof of …show more content…
Nearly every aspect of my personality changes. Everything from my posture to my voice to my facial expressions. I become an entirely different person depending on who I’m around. With friends I’m loud, I joke around, I have strong opinions, but I also like listening to them and care deeply about what they say to me. Around strangers I’m quite, I seem timid, and easily influenced. While with my family I am loud, stubborn, and completely crazy. Although most of the time I spend with my family is being lectured or arguing about one thing or another, I can sing musicals around them and not feel embarrassed, or make strange noises from my room simply because I’m mad at the world. And, no one judges me or, if they do, I honestly don’t care.
What draws me most to psychology is understanding myself more. Most of the time I feel like I’m completely crazy and I want to know why. I’m in this class because I’m hoping it will help me become better at helping others and myself. I want to know why we think, feel, and make decisions the way we do. I have a need to understand myself and those around me so that maybe I can feel a bit