“While you’re doing fine, there’s some people and I who have a really tough time getting through this life...” These lyrics are from the song “Screen” by Twenty One Pilots. They sum up my life appropriately. My life has been full of ups and downs and there is definitely more to come. I have already overcome depression, however, anxiety is still trying to gain control of my roller coaster life.
Seventh grade is where everything started. I made many harmful decisions. I hid all of these struggles from my family. I constantly fought depression and it seemed like it was going to win. Struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts, I decided to keep trying. My mom ended up discovering everything. At that point, my situation was the worst it had ever been. This carried into my eighth-grade year. My mom decided to let me dye my hair. She called it, “Saying no to one thing, and yes to another.” The farther into the eighth-grade year I …show more content…
The constant worry that everyone is looking at me, judging me. Speaking in front of people was a nightmare. Worrying about saying the wrong thing. The constant fear of everyone leaving me. Then it would be just me and my self-deprecating thoughts. I wondered, “Why am I constantly feeling sad when there is not a reason to be?” I finally brought all of this up to my mom. We went to the doctor where I was labeled with “social anxiety.” Great, another thing wrong with me. It was decided that I was to go to counseling. Counseling is not fun for anyone, trust me. I was counseled for about 4 months until I realized, it was not helping at all. Five months pass and things have gotten worse. Sophomore year is approaching quickly. I bring up anxiety to my mom again and it’s back to the doctor we go. This time I am put on medication. Fast forward to current times. I am still on the medication and the anxiety has been put on a leash. I am the happiest I have been in four
Seventh grade is where everything started. I made many harmful decisions. I hid all of these struggles from my family. I constantly fought depression and it seemed like it was going to win. Struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts, I decided to keep trying. My mom ended up discovering everything. At that point, my situation was the worst it had ever been. This carried into my eighth-grade year. My mom decided to let me dye my hair. She called it, “Saying no to one thing, and yes to another.” The farther into the eighth-grade year I …show more content…
The constant worry that everyone is looking at me, judging me. Speaking in front of people was a nightmare. Worrying about saying the wrong thing. The constant fear of everyone leaving me. Then it would be just me and my self-deprecating thoughts. I wondered, “Why am I constantly feeling sad when there is not a reason to be?” I finally brought all of this up to my mom. We went to the doctor where I was labeled with “social anxiety.” Great, another thing wrong with me. It was decided that I was to go to counseling. Counseling is not fun for anyone, trust me. I was counseled for about 4 months until I realized, it was not helping at all. Five months pass and things have gotten worse. Sophomore year is approaching quickly. I bring up anxiety to my mom again and it’s back to the doctor we go. This time I am put on medication. Fast forward to current times. I am still on the medication and the anxiety has been put on a leash. I am the happiest I have been in four