6.2—The Peaks and Pits of the Three Power/Control Types (#1,3,8) The peak (positive) sides of Perfectionists (#1) are that they are “ethical, reliable, productive, wise, idealistic, fair, honest, orderly, self-disciplined”. All of these sounds great, but perfectionists have a pit side.
The negative (pit) sides of perfectionists are that they are“judgmental, in-flexible, dogmatic, obsessive-compulsive, critical of others, overly serious, controlling, anxious, and jealous”. (Baron, p. ) Imagine this as your spouse or your boss and what would be some issues for you? Can you imagine being made to feel inferior and judged as inadequate? Perfectionists are typically first born.
But what is it like from the inside being a perfectionist. …show more content…
No doubt all of these qualities make them good caretakers, but there is a related problematic side. At their worst (pit side), the Helper is martyr-like, indirect, manipulative, possessive, hysterical, overly accommodating, overly demonstrative”. (Ibid.) The Helper seem love-oriented but the love is imbalanced toward the other with an incomplete self love which allows reciprocity of both power and caregiving. These negative qualities keep the Helper types from being a true giver be-cause they expect to be appreciated for the giving and can be very hurt when they are taken for granted which they often are. Then some passive aggressive playing the martyr (poor me) or indirect barbs might fly. When the two sides compensate each other with some integration, serious problems are avoided but in a dysfunctional family relationship, the Helpers can be the enablers for alcohol or drug addicts, can’t set limits and say “no” to children and can raise brats due to their wanting to please and inability to confront straight up. The profession of therapy attracts people of this character type where empathy and caring are easy but setting limits and confrontation are more difficult to which the writer can
The negative (pit) sides of perfectionists are that they are“judgmental, in-flexible, dogmatic, obsessive-compulsive, critical of others, overly serious, controlling, anxious, and jealous”. (Baron, p. ) Imagine this as your spouse or your boss and what would be some issues for you? Can you imagine being made to feel inferior and judged as inadequate? Perfectionists are typically first born.
But what is it like from the inside being a perfectionist. …show more content…
No doubt all of these qualities make them good caretakers, but there is a related problematic side. At their worst (pit side), the Helper is martyr-like, indirect, manipulative, possessive, hysterical, overly accommodating, overly demonstrative”. (Ibid.) The Helper seem love-oriented but the love is imbalanced toward the other with an incomplete self love which allows reciprocity of both power and caregiving. These negative qualities keep the Helper types from being a true giver be-cause they expect to be appreciated for the giving and can be very hurt when they are taken for granted which they often are. Then some passive aggressive playing the martyr (poor me) or indirect barbs might fly. When the two sides compensate each other with some integration, serious problems are avoided but in a dysfunctional family relationship, the Helpers can be the enablers for alcohol or drug addicts, can’t set limits and say “no” to children and can raise brats due to their wanting to please and inability to confront straight up. The profession of therapy attracts people of this character type where empathy and caring are easy but setting limits and confrontation are more difficult to which the writer can