Liar
“So I hear you had a hard day at school sweetheart.” The doctor looks at me with a melancholy smile. “Why don’t you tell me about it?” I look down at the floor. One of the purple tiles is out of place, in the line of the blue tiles. “Wondering where to start?” I nod. My hair falls in front of my eyes, and I let it become a barrier between me and the doctor.
“You don’t have to start at the beginning yet, maybe just talk about how you felt today.” I squeeze my eyes shut, and soft brown shapes and grey spots swim across my gaze. “Today I felt very anxious.” My chest tightens, and I open my eyes. “I went to the student support office at my school like I usually do. I told them how I was feeling.”
“So you usually go down to the office. …show more content…
He is still smiling slightly. “You came to the emergency room because of a safety concern. But can you give me some more details so I can really understand how you have been feeling? I’m just trying my best to assess the situation.” “I thought about stabbing people.” “Could you imagine yourself doing this? Did you see this happening?” “No.” “Do you want to kill people?” “No.” “Then why are you having these urges?” I struggle to grip my hands into fists, but my muscles are limp. I tighten my jaw. “Why are you having these urges?” the doctor repeated. “I don’t know,” I mutter. “You’re supposed to tell me that.” The doctor walks closer to me, and suddenly the small white room seems tighter. “I need to work with me. You may be a threat to yourself or others and we are only trying to help you.” He stares into my face. “Do you think you can do that?” I nod. “Thank you.” He smiles again, taking a step back. “Do you resist these violent thoughts when you have them?” “No.” “Have you ever been in a fight or hurt someone beyond just hitting or shoving?” “No.” “Do you consider yourself to be a bad person?” My lips freeze. My chest tightens once more, and I breathe tensely through my nose. My eyes are partly closed. “Please just let me go …show more content…
The doctor walks in, clipboard in hand. “Do you feel ready to answer more questions now?” I nod. “Do you consider yourself to be a danger to others?” My head throbs. Yes. Yes. The word echoes through my mind. Yes. “Miriam, please answer the question.” “No.”
-----------------
I stare out the window of the outpatient facility. Dr. Thomas is focused on his computer, and I enjoy the momentary silence. The grass near the playground is trampled from the patients, and leaves cling to the tall fences that surround the area. The image depresses me, and I look back at the carpeted floor. “So you claim you’re experiencing some alarming side effects on this medication? Is that correct?” Dr. Thomas keeps his eyes focused on his computer. “Yes.” “And how long have you been experiencing said side effects?” “For two weeks.” He turns around in his chair to face me. “Why didn’t you bring this up earlier? It could have posed a threat to your safety.” I breathe in deeply, my lungs beginning to burn. “I did bring them up.” I clench my jaw. “I told Judi about them.” He frowns and looks back at his computer. “Are you
“So I hear you had a hard day at school sweetheart.” The doctor looks at me with a melancholy smile. “Why don’t you tell me about it?” I look down at the floor. One of the purple tiles is out of place, in the line of the blue tiles. “Wondering where to start?” I nod. My hair falls in front of my eyes, and I let it become a barrier between me and the doctor.
“You don’t have to start at the beginning yet, maybe just talk about how you felt today.” I squeeze my eyes shut, and soft brown shapes and grey spots swim across my gaze. “Today I felt very anxious.” My chest tightens, and I open my eyes. “I went to the student support office at my school like I usually do. I told them how I was feeling.”
“So you usually go down to the office. …show more content…
He is still smiling slightly. “You came to the emergency room because of a safety concern. But can you give me some more details so I can really understand how you have been feeling? I’m just trying my best to assess the situation.” “I thought about stabbing people.” “Could you imagine yourself doing this? Did you see this happening?” “No.” “Do you want to kill people?” “No.” “Then why are you having these urges?” I struggle to grip my hands into fists, but my muscles are limp. I tighten my jaw. “Why are you having these urges?” the doctor repeated. “I don’t know,” I mutter. “You’re supposed to tell me that.” The doctor walks closer to me, and suddenly the small white room seems tighter. “I need to work with me. You may be a threat to yourself or others and we are only trying to help you.” He stares into my face. “Do you think you can do that?” I nod. “Thank you.” He smiles again, taking a step back. “Do you resist these violent thoughts when you have them?” “No.” “Have you ever been in a fight or hurt someone beyond just hitting or shoving?” “No.” “Do you consider yourself to be a bad person?” My lips freeze. My chest tightens once more, and I breathe tensely through my nose. My eyes are partly closed. “Please just let me go …show more content…
The doctor walks in, clipboard in hand. “Do you feel ready to answer more questions now?” I nod. “Do you consider yourself to be a danger to others?” My head throbs. Yes. Yes. The word echoes through my mind. Yes. “Miriam, please answer the question.” “No.”
-----------------
I stare out the window of the outpatient facility. Dr. Thomas is focused on his computer, and I enjoy the momentary silence. The grass near the playground is trampled from the patients, and leaves cling to the tall fences that surround the area. The image depresses me, and I look back at the carpeted floor. “So you claim you’re experiencing some alarming side effects on this medication? Is that correct?” Dr. Thomas keeps his eyes focused on his computer. “Yes.” “And how long have you been experiencing said side effects?” “For two weeks.” He turns around in his chair to face me. “Why didn’t you bring this up earlier? It could have posed a threat to your safety.” I breathe in deeply, my lungs beginning to burn. “I did bring them up.” I clench my jaw. “I told Judi about them.” He frowns and looks back at his computer. “Are you