“Being grateful does not mean that everything is necessarily good. It just means that you can accept it as a gift” (Bennett). Gratitude requires a self-appraisal that we are understood, valued and cared for by another person (Algoe). At the time of the event in my letter I was dealing with an acute stressor that was very severe. I was an abused runaway eleven-year-old who did not believe the world to be a safe place or that it valued me in any way. In writing a letter to my high school best friend and her family, I was able to focus on the positive aspects of the predicament. Reflection as an adult allowed me to reappraise my past social support and realize how thankful I was for their asylum. Moreover, it gave an opportunity to remember
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Time in a safe environment and a positive affect allowed me to gain perspective on a broader selection of coping options. Cob explains, social support is key in handling stress. My perception and appraisal of the issues with my family were mediated by their intervention. Instead of pursing suicide (“anti-suicide barrier”) or a return to a violent environment, I succumbed to the positive affect and the optimism of the Grahams home. This enabled me to view the scenario objectively and continue to focus on thoughts of a different future. Or rather, to view the discord with my family as a controllable event and utilize problem-focused active coping skills. Specifically, her father took time to remind me to slow down and think before choosing my next steps if I wanted to succeed. He used to give me advise using Solitaire, though I knew even then the deeper message in his wisdom was to plan …show more content…
That said, it would be more challenging to have performed this task while I was in a high arousal situation. Other methods focused on emotional validation, empathizing and providing new concepts to better explain feelings of being victimized would have been more helpful at that time. Reflection and reappraisal would not necessarily work without first establishing a sense of self-efficacy, self-compassion and hope. Focus on these aspects would likely influence the perception of social support more in elevated risk individuals and lessen the probability of negative social interactions in the
Time in a safe environment and a positive affect allowed me to gain perspective on a broader selection of coping options. Cob explains, social support is key in handling stress. My perception and appraisal of the issues with my family were mediated by their intervention. Instead of pursing suicide (“anti-suicide barrier”) or a return to a violent environment, I succumbed to the positive affect and the optimism of the Grahams home. This enabled me to view the scenario objectively and continue to focus on thoughts of a different future. Or rather, to view the discord with my family as a controllable event and utilize problem-focused active coping skills. Specifically, her father took time to remind me to slow down and think before choosing my next steps if I wanted to succeed. He used to give me advise using Solitaire, though I knew even then the deeper message in his wisdom was to plan …show more content…
That said, it would be more challenging to have performed this task while I was in a high arousal situation. Other methods focused on emotional validation, empathizing and providing new concepts to better explain feelings of being victimized would have been more helpful at that time. Reflection and reappraisal would not necessarily work without first establishing a sense of self-efficacy, self-compassion and hope. Focus on these aspects would likely influence the perception of social support more in elevated risk individuals and lessen the probability of negative social interactions in the