Malcolm was rumored to be thicker than the skin on a pachyderm's fanny, but he was a doctor, and as such, theoretically capable of taking a hint. Speaking no foreign languages and English only poorly, Malcolm had no desire to do his residency at Broadview. Taking Dr. Brown's advice, he worked his tail off from the very first day on the job. In addition, he made sure everyone else worked their tails off as well.
On the first day of Peeds at Keystone, Malcolm informed our team we would be expected to be on the floor by 6 A.M. daily, and have our own rounds made and notes written on the charts by 7 A.M. when Malcolm arrived. At that time, Malcolm would go over our notes and make rounds on all …show more content…
with one of the staff pediatricians. Through this musical rendition of "The Student Goes Round and Round," we were supposed to learn how to take care of sick children.
There were no daily conferences at Keystone as there were at Broadview. There was, however, a weekly Grand Rounds, in which all the superstars in Peeds gathered to argue with each other over some esoteric piece of pediatric minutia. The rounds which, for thorough understanding, required fluency in Pomposity as a second language, gave everyone the opportunity to see Dr. Disease present a case, Dr. Cure refute it, and Dr. Syndrome interject an amusing anecdote from his most recent fact-finding mission abroad on behalf of the President's Council on Prickly Heat and other Misunderstood Dermatoses.
The staff pediatricians at Keystone were all sub-specialists in the medical art of One-upmanship. They all seemed more worried about the research that would catapult them to the head of the class than the house staff and students they were supposed to be training or the children they were supposed to be