The author opens the paragraph with “I would have run” and continues the phrase “I would have” throughout the section; Lola’s narration takes on a tone of wistfulness by using negative, passive verbs. The repetition reinforces Lola’s discontent with her life and illustrates her wish for a different, better one. The author uses the disappearance of Lola’s father as a literal metaphor for her wish to disappear; Lola dreams of being able to escape her mother just as her father did when she was young. Lola wants to run away from her mother because she sees her mother as the obstacle between her and her independence and happiness, but Belí stands for more than just that. She stands for the racism and misogyny that Lola is subjected to. “I would let myself grow dark in the sun, no more hiding from it, let my hair indulge in all its kinks” Lola narrates, using phrases and verbs such as “let myself”, “hiding”, “indulge” that convey a sense of being trapped and controlled by a society that disapproves of her black hair and non-white skin tone. “[She] would have been happy” if she could only escape from these pressures, and she views her mother as the embodiment of these pressures: “she would have… never recognized me”. The narration …show more content…
The narration repetition of “would have” shows all the things that could have happened had things been different. At the close of the paragraph, the verb tense changes from “have” to “had”; “that was the dream I had” Lola says, implying that dream is no longer something relevant to her life. The tone changes from wistful to bitter; the verbs changes from “would have” to “never can”. “These years” implies a great deal of time has passed since Lola had these dreams of running away, and the phrase “you can never run away. Not ever” at the end shows Lola’s acceptance of the culture she was raised in; she may not like it, she may even hate it, but she has accepted the reality of the life she has lived and the hold her culture has over her. The narration ends with “the only way out is in”. The only way out of a negative situation is to get through it. The narration shows Lola’s growth through the contrast of her dreams to run away and her resentment of her mother when she was younger with her resignation and acceptance of the situation when she is older. Instead of believing running away from her problems is the solution, older Lola knows that no one can ever truly outrun their problems and the only way to deal with them is to actually deal with them, just as the only way to combat racism and oppression is to face it head on, not run away from