You gave wonderful explanation at the beginning of your story. It was a nice way to introduce the characters and the setting of your story. The story was extremely inspirational and had a wonderful message that most people could relate. The story was short (under 1000 words), but still had all the good elements of storytelling. (Your grammar was also superb!)
2. Identify and describe three weaknesses in this draft?
Your story was really interested, but I think if you added more character development it would have really added to your tory. I would have love to hear how they struggled to get to the Promised Land and somehow tied that into recent times with the people today. Also, if you