These degrading words seemed to become used more often than my actual name. I got so used to hearing these words, I actually started to believe them. I love this boy, and he "loves" me too. But how can that be love? Let me tell you, it's not. There is no love there.
That is control.
When a person of the opposite sex pops up on your phone, and he makes you feel guilty and ashamed, the way he reacts is not "jealousy".
That is control.
Every little thing that you saw as him "caring" was nothing but control. You gave him power and that's what he thrived off of. The way he treats you is due to a complete lack of respect. It's selfish. That's all boys like him are. They don't care about who they hurt as long as they …show more content…
They tear you down in order to keep you around. They make you feel like you aren't worthy of their love, or anyone's for that matter. They ruin any bit of self respect you have and in the long run you find yourself dependent on that person for any sense of worth at all.
Emotional abuse is something that manifests over time. At first, you don't notice it and if you do, you brush it off because you so desperately want this person to love you the way you love them. It starts out with the insults in private or over text and eventually, it starts to happen in front of others. Afterwards, he more than likely says he is just joking. He will hurt your feelings, yet somehow make the hurt all your fault.
Everything is always your …show more content…
I wish I would have sooner, but what people don't understand is that it is not easy. They don't see what goes on when they aren't around. They don't understand what emotional abuse does to a person. It ruins you. You've been around this for so long that you are so used to it. Someone new seems absurd.
He has made you feel absolutely worthless and completely unlovable. He controls you and even if you wanted to, you have no idea how to get out. You don't even know where to begin. You are in too deep. What I realized was that when I thought the rip tide was about to drown me, all I had to do was stay calm and swim out.
And once you finally get out, all they ever will be is angry with you. They are angry that you took away all their power, all their control. You can finally see who they really are because you are no longer looking through rose colored glasses. You see every lie crystal clear and you feel every word like a knife.
Let me tell you, you do not deserve this. The names he has called you do not define you. They never have and they never will. You deserve a boy who worships the ground you walk on, not a boy who treats you like the ground he walks