Deborah Tannen's Essay But What Do You Mean

Decent Essays
As I read Deborah Tannen's essay "But What Do You Mean?" she concentrates on several conversational styles between women and men. I feel that her assessment was more so unresearched, because intending to point out where men and women fail when they communicate; Tannen actually gives a more one sided understanding of styles. Sadly, from reading her essay, she tends to show a lot of bias when she writes. And even though, she does deal with several conversational styles and examples, Tannen is leaning more on a women’s point of view. So from a guy’s perspective, it would be hard to understand what she is trying to say, at least from my point-of-view. Tannen concludes with a lot of her examples with assumptions about men and women’s dialogues

Related Documents

  • Improved Essays

    Christina Symanski of Freehold, N.J. was a young art teacher who had a full, vivacious life ahead of her. She was contemplating marriage and family with her boyfriend of 6 months. Then, in 2005, her life came to a screeching halt in an accident. She found her quality of life suddenly deteriorated significantly when she broke her neck from diving into a shallow pool. As a direct consequence of the accident, Ms. Symanski suffered from quadriplegia, a form of paralysis that results in the loss of use of all four limbs and torso.…

    • 1158 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    Imette St. Guillen Essay

    • 534 Words
    • 3 Pages

    At this training, the homicide investigation of Imette St. Guillen was used as an exemplar. The case details, evidence recovered and investigative practices used to solve this case were thoroughly discussed. I will review this case and discuss how forensic science was instrumental in assisting the criminal justice system in securing a verdict against Darryl Littlejohn. Imette St. Guillen was a 24 year old graduate student at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. On February 25, 2006, she was out drinking with her friend at a SOHO nightclub called The Pioneer.…

    • 534 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    The two articles Agonism in the Acadamy Suriving Higher Learning’s Argument Cluture by Deborah Tannen and The Better for My Foes The role of Opposition by Elouise Bell are both well writien articles. They both have very diffrent views but at the same time have some similaritys. One thing that I noticed when reading that they both talk about heated debate/ agurmnet. When i see those two words togther i think they are similar, as they both result insomething that you are talking about with passion.…

    • 701 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    According to Wood, research shows that women generally are more responsive in communication than men, and she explains it with the concern of maintaining relationships and showing empathy toward others that is cultivated in feminine speech communities (2014). Wood and Gamble and Gamble agrees that women indicate engagement, emotional involvement and empathy by smiling, maintaining eye contact and direct body orientation, while men, who have been conditioned to focus on status and power, lean forward, use large gestures and vocal cues to establish their position in the…

    • 1143 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    How effective listening skills can improve a certain conversation and the reactions given. The idea of "metamessages" is brought up quite a lot. The women in this idea tend to pick up different information from what is actually being said. She can manipulate information into whatever she wants with this idea of "metamessages". Conversation ties in every factor in a relationship and because men and women see conversation differently, the actual issues aren’t being solved.…

    • 908 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    People will do anything to win an argument. Ripping apart an argument trying to make the other person feel bad will cause tempers to flare. In her article “The Triumph of the Yell” written by Deborah Tannen, she talked about how almost everything is being argued and she is blaming journalists and politicians for feeding the flame of public arguments. In the article, Tannen talked a lot about a “culture of critique”.…

    • 904 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    Men expect silent attention; however, when there are listener noises men perceive them as impatience or overreaction. Another difference among men and women is how they express support. Women have the tendency to agree to each other, while men tend to point out the other side of an argument Men’s conversational duty can be seen to women as disloyalty, and refusal to offer the requisite support (Tannen 284). Men take too literally women’s “trouble talk”, just as women mistake men’s challenges and real…

    • 709 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    Deborah Tannens essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk To Each Other?” offers many explanations as to why men and women converse differently. Tannen concluded from her own research that the linguistic differences, body language, and silence in opposing settings have an equal contribution as to why the genders communicate differently among groups of all the same gender and groups of opposing gender. While women often add their input on a situation men find that as being a challenge of their dominance. Tannen effectively demonstrates the riff between the genders through the use of childhood experiences, and showing how younger experiences shape adult communication behaviors. Men and women have very different…

    • 973 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    She goes into how gender discourse is a “symbolic system” which means that no woman or man perfectly fits the roles they are given, nevertheless people’s…

    • 677 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Great Essays

    Two Gender Styles For decades, researchers have concluded that women and men have different forms of acting, thinking, and even communicating. Due to the differences in their behavior men and women usually do or say things that disappoints their partner. In occasions a simple misinterpretation of a response can make a person feel bad. Could it be that men and women express their words differently?…

    • 1706 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Great Essays
  • Improved Essays

    The article “Sex, Lies and Conversation” by Deborah Tannen illustrates several points about the differences and similarities between the conversational techniques of men and women of varying ages. In her article, she mentions how men and women have different expectations of what a conversationalist is supposed to do, one of them being that women “assume a conversationalist's job is to express agreement and support” (para 19) meanwhile men “see their conversational duty as pointing out the other side of an argument” (para 19). This can create unintended tension between both people, such can be seen in the book Deep Down Dark by Hector Tobar. Chapter four of the book is when hunger and desperation first begins to show itself within the 33 men.…

    • 819 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    Ways We Lie

    • 511 Words
    • 3 Pages

    Deborah Tannen, in “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” an essay published in the 1990 The Washington Post, addressed misunderstandings to curb controversies regarding a chapter from Tannen’s 1986 book That’s Not What I Meant!. Tannen, a teacher at Georgetown University provides the public with scholarly research in the battlefield of communication between the sexes; bringing to light the stereotypical debate to whom is at fault in the negative communicational skills that endanger relationships. Stephanie Ericsson, in “The Ways We Lie,” a cover article from a 1993 issue of the Utne Reader, references life experiences, classifications, and quotes to rationalize the human need to lie. Ericsson, a screenwriter, a copywriter, and a recovering addict uses personal experiences to persuade readers that lying is an art form that cannot be lived without sending the assumption that lying is as vital to life as air is to breathing. Ericsson states “Sure I lie, but it doesn’t hurt anything.”…

    • 511 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    In Gender Theorist Judith Lorber’s article, “From Believing is Seeing: Biology as Ideology,”( 1992) and Linguist Deborah Tannen’s essay, “How Male and Female Students Use Language Differently,”(1990) Tannen focuses on the difference in language usage between males, and females in the classroom. Tannen also delves into the limiting qualities of a masculinized debate based environment. In contrast Lorber focuses on revealing gender stereotypes in society, and how these stereotypes limit women in many aspects of daily life.…

    • 1105 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    When I came to the United States, I was educated and spoke English. It was British English; the pronunciation, spellings of some words and some of the grammar were completely different. When I enrolled in middle school, everybody made fun of me; all the students thought I was not smart because I could not communicate with them in American English. However, it was not just hard to communicate with other men, but it was also hard to communicate with women because I am a man. I believe that there is a difference in how individuals communicate; it all depends on a person’s gender and the language he or she grew up speaking.…

    • 1044 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    As we delve deeper into our theories on interpersonal communication, we begin to learn more about ourselves and how to interact with the people around us. Whether they are in our lives on a personal, professional or combined capacity. This week I have decided to look at the theories of Interactional View and Genderlect Styles (Griffin, 2015). When we study Interactional View, a theory developed by Paul Watzlawick, we can see how communication has shaped us into the people we are today. Watzlawick uses axioms to describe his theory.…

    • 972 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays