I am the first-born of a stereotypical outspoken boisterous Italian/French Catholic family, where family and religion was the foundation of my life. From as far back as I can remember, there was laughing, loud talking, hand waving, hugging, kissing and unconditional love. I struggled to be in such an outspoken atmosphere at times because my personality as a child was more of an observer than a willing participant. I was at heart painfully shy, sensitive and insecure. During my delivery my mother’s back was hurt, so my grandmother would come during the day to take care of my mom. I have been told that because my mother could not lift me or hold me, I spent a great deal of time in my crib, which was …show more content…
I chose my dad. As much as I did not want to move away I knew that I could not live with my mother anymore. It was no longer a healthy situation for either of us. I thought she was weak, I did not respect her and I did not feel I could count on her for my survival. I knew in my heart that this move was my saving grace. I had spent the last three years falling apart and now I was being given an opportunity to put myself back together again or I would end up dead. After my fifteenth birthday, we moved to Iran. I knew my education was important and I worked hard to get good grades. Based on Erik Erickson 's Psychosocial Theory it’s during the 5th stage Identity versus Role Confusion that can cause the adolescent to question their “personality characteristics, view of self and the perceived view of others and has extreme doubt in regards to their meaning and purpose of their existence (Sokol, 2009). My mom had her first stroke when she was 59 years old. She would go on to have several more, including seizures and finally vascular dementia. I became her advocate for her health and welfare. I had forgiven my mother years earlier and as I fought for her, there were many times that I wish she had fought for me when I needed her the most. My greatest fear is that her history of strokes and seizures will also affect my life. I am …show more content…
It was difficult to make this transition. I left good friends, my identity, my sense of security and confidence. My mom was still struggling emotionally and financially. I felt lost and quickly fell right back in with my friends. I was drinking and partying again morning to night. I felt like I had fallen into Alice’s rabbit hole and I was not sure how I was going to climb out this time. We all have those moments when we meet someone we know is going to change us. I met two people who changed the course of my life. I was not sure how, but I just had the feeling and I sensed that when I met Steve (my husband) that he was going to be an important person in my life. I knew what it meant to have healthy friendships and how to treat them with respect and care. I felt a connection to him and valued our friendship and I still do, as we have been married 37 years. I also met my friend Carol, whose mother owned a few preschool and after school programs. I took a job at one of her schools and found my purpose. Since then I have had over thirty years of various roles working with children. For me it came naturally to be surrounded by children, rather than adults, I was comfortable with them. According to theorist Erik Erickson, an adolescent’s identity gives them a sense of “ideological commitment and allows the individual to know their place in the world (Sokol,