Bernie Madoff: A Short Story

First off, let me just say that I take all responsibility for what I did. In fact, I’m actually quite proud of it, I mean actually who can steal $17 billion dollars in the space of less than a year, let alone half of a year. I suppose that you want to know why I did it, and to that I have no better answer than that I wanted to see if I could do it. Marvin will try to tell you that I was bullied, and exploited, but honestly I thought that it was quite fun mooching off of those rich jerks who thought I would act as a good bodyguard. As for the bullying I didn’t really care, to me the bullies are microscopic parasites, yeah it’s annoying, but really who cares if you can’t really see them. Right now I’m vacationing in Vanuatu, simply laughing at the fact that humans were stupid enough to give me their money. I mean truly they fell for Bernie Madoff-act …show more content…
Ha! I’m kidding, gotcha didn’t I. In fact I don’t even think I should be prosecuted at all, I’m on non-extradition soil. You can’t touch me, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Even if you try I’ll write a letter to your precious little president as a plea against “discrimination” and “crimes against my species”. And if all else fails, I’ll simply charm the people you send to retrieve be, ‘cause we all know that that will work out just fine. In all seriousness, I really don’t think that I should be punished for taking advantage of other’s stupidity, because through my actions I have enabled others who may have been swindled to avoid being swindled all together. Call it a parting gift! You know, Mr.DA you should really come and join me, I could teach you how to fix the problems that you have caused. I know you might think that this, is a trojan horse but honestly, if you ever need help I’m here. Also, what made you think that it was a good idea to become a DA, you’re clearly not very good at it, maybe you’d be better suited as a