Here are a dozen tips to help you progress in counselling
Be truthful with yourself and with the therapist. In order for your counsellor to understand how best to work with you to achieve the outcomes you desire, they have to have a clear picture.
If you are unable to be honest with yourself then you make the job of helping you more difficult. For example when Joe tells the counsellor, or for that matter anyone, about his last failed relationship he says, “she was always unhappy, nagging at me to do things” The part of the picture Joe does not mention is that he hates having time commitments. He led his girlfriend to believe he wanted marriage but after 5 years had not gotten around to proposing. Always saying “weddings cost too much money, and he didn’t have enough saved up.”
Clients leave things out because they don’t want the therapist to think less of them. They believe if ‘you knew I yell at my spouse’ or I think ‘maybe I shouldn’t have had kids’ you would think less of me. Your counsellor needs this kind of information to get headed in the right direction. They will not judge you.
Alternately people hide the truth so the therapist doesn’t think less of another person, like a spouse or parent. The very act of protecting another person and sacrificing your own therapy in the process is likely what brought you into therapy in the first place. Therapy is confidential, the other person will never know (unless you tell them) that you spoke about them and what you tell is likely to shed valuable light on the root or nature of your troubles. If you have questions or feel uncomfortable about anything happening within therapy, let your therapist know. Whatever you do, don’t keep it in, this is the surest way to sabotage your therapy. Some of the most powerful changes can happen in the moment between the therapist and clients. Make counselling a priority. If you are thinking “how am I going to find one hour a week to attend therapy”, you are in the complete wrong mindset. To make changes you need to dedicate a lot more than one hour a week to therapy. Making changes involves being able to take the time to observe yourself and your interactions throughout the day. If your schedule is filled it is unlikely you will have the time it takes to do this. You need to consider how long you can sustain your therapy between sessions. Most people in the initial stage benefit from weekly sessions and struggle to make progress if they go longer. Don’t let excuses get in the way. Make sure you have childcare lined up if you need it. All too often, as the worst of symptoms ease, clients let other things take priority. Commit to sticking with it, despite holiday seasons, sick kids or work demands. Where you have to cancel an appointment, insure that you have another one booked. Schedule your appointment time so that you have time after to digest the material. The intensity of the session can vary from appointment to appointment. It is never a good idea to go straight from a counselling session into another commitment, parenting, work, social event. It is a good idea to take 30 min to an hour to reflect on the session. Many people find it helpful to write things down, in particular any homework or goals they want to achieve or questions they might want to ask the therapist next time. A summary of the session can help you reflect on …show more content…
If you are feeling it is time to end therapy then you should discuss this with your therapist. The process of discussing it has significant therapeutic benefit. You may have legitimate reasons for quitting ie. you realize you’re not ready to do the work at this time, or the therapist is not a fit for you. However, a lot of people quit once they feel a bit of symptom relief, once the crisis of what brought them into therapy has abated. They cut and run. Whatever your reason a skilled therapist will be able to openly discuss with you your concerns or readiness to move on and make it a positive