A reckless musician grieves over the unexpected death of his brother and travels to Japan to spread his ashes, where he becomes enamored by a young woman also dealing with her own grief.
BRIEF SYNOPSIS
SYD WHITE (30) is a reckless and irresponsible musician, who likes to party and drink. He’s in a band with his brother, ROGER WHITE, who warns him about his behavior. Roger announces that he’s quitting the band to travel to Japan and help those suffering from the tsunami. Syd is furious that Roger plans to leave.
Tragedy strikes when Roger is killed in a tragic car accident. He wants his ashes spread in Japan. Syd alienates himself from everyone and can’t find the inspiration to write songs.
After a year, his manager and friend, CASEY, convinces …show more content…
Even in the first act before Syd leaves, Casey is a bit repetitive. For example on page 15, Casey can be cut from the scene. Just let the visual of Syd looking at the photos convey the emotion and the information. This is when he changes his mind about going. Later at the ocean, Casey’s dialogue isn’t really necessary. Let the visual of Syd’s conflict about scattering the ashes speak for the scene without words.
One does wonder about the decision to have Roger inebriated when he dies. Roger seems to be so against Syd drinking, that it feels confusing and contradictory for the audience to add that Roger was drunk.
As mentioned, Syd’s personality is well established in the opening. He has great inner conflict. His external goal is not as well defined. He goes to Japan to scatter his brother’s ashes, which he easily accomplishes. As the script progresses, he doesn’t really have a plan or direction. This is one reason the pace and tension feels a bit listless because Syd’s not trying to achieve an external objective that the script focuses on.
An argument could be made that his external goal is to compose and perform again, but the script doesn’t focus a lot of time on this, so it gets lost. Perhaps elevating this would give the script more
BRIEF SYNOPSIS
SYD WHITE (30) is a reckless and irresponsible musician, who likes to party and drink. He’s in a band with his brother, ROGER WHITE, who warns him about his behavior. Roger announces that he’s quitting the band to travel to Japan and help those suffering from the tsunami. Syd is furious that Roger plans to leave.
Tragedy strikes when Roger is killed in a tragic car accident. He wants his ashes spread in Japan. Syd alienates himself from everyone and can’t find the inspiration to write songs.
After a year, his manager and friend, CASEY, convinces …show more content…
Even in the first act before Syd leaves, Casey is a bit repetitive. For example on page 15, Casey can be cut from the scene. Just let the visual of Syd looking at the photos convey the emotion and the information. This is when he changes his mind about going. Later at the ocean, Casey’s dialogue isn’t really necessary. Let the visual of Syd’s conflict about scattering the ashes speak for the scene without words.
One does wonder about the decision to have Roger inebriated when he dies. Roger seems to be so against Syd drinking, that it feels confusing and contradictory for the audience to add that Roger was drunk.
As mentioned, Syd’s personality is well established in the opening. He has great inner conflict. His external goal is not as well defined. He goes to Japan to scatter his brother’s ashes, which he easily accomplishes. As the script progresses, he doesn’t really have a plan or direction. This is one reason the pace and tension feels a bit listless because Syd’s not trying to achieve an external objective that the script focuses on.
An argument could be made that his external goal is to compose and perform again, but the script doesn’t focus a lot of time on this, so it gets lost. Perhaps elevating this would give the script more