A Reflection Of Number Seven Reflections Of Grief

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Number seven, reflections of grief, July 6th, 2016. I've become adapted walking on glass. The trick is to trade lightly and put each foot each down carefully before putting any pressure on it. If I don't flinch I can make it through but on this path of shattered glass I sweat a lot and hope the rivulets will not compromise my feet causing me to lose my balance. Going through grief is walking backwards, living backwards and just now I'm finding that I bring up Peter to remind my girls and I of the bond we share with their father and that he is always with us. A part of this family and a part of us. A part of the reason why we're good because we had such strong love binding us all together. It is a relief for our daughters to be able to talk about their dad down. A fond remembrance of his love for them. Your dad loved you girls so much, he was always taking you girls to fun places IHOP and to recording studios and ordering disert for all of you during the week when I disallowed it and letting you drive the golf car when he'd play golf. Even if your feet could barely touch the peddles, we did not need anything outside of the four of us. …show more content…
Me the caregiver, Peter the fun star and our girls the little fun stars. I can never let go of the act committed by you, Peter. Yes, I still talk to him all the time, especially when I'm writing or in the kitchen cooking or in the bathroom getting ready or if one of the girls is upset it's your fault, Peter. It's all your damn fault but secretly believe it, is me it's my fault for not taking care of you somehow. I move on and look for the joy, the magic of new beginnings. The joy of new accomplishments, living can be beautiful if I let it be. I am possible, I am positive and make a note to remember that I must stay that way for everything can change in an instant. My mom just had her 85th birthday and doesn't want a party until she gets some teeth on top. Her teeth shattered from dry mouth she says so she needs a new bridge but she keeps on forgetting or maybe just puts off making an appointment with her dentist. Her upper lip is sunk in on one side or she doesn't have her teeth so I say, "Hey, mom have you made your appointment?" She says, "No, but I will get to it." I say, "Mom your birthday was April fourth, we need to celebrate," she says, "Yes but I need to look good and by the way and back with Tony." Tony is her 92-year-old lover and boyfriend, she called me up to say, "Honey, if you call me on Monday or Tuesday I won't be home, Tony and I are going to spend some time together," "Mom what if he doesn’t leave a big enough tip, are you going to break up with him again." They broke up for two years over that one and she says, “No he can do what he wants and I think this time they just might make it after all. They have been in love since she was 19 years old. Now she sees no one because of the

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