I became so engrossed with trying to place the adjectives precisely where they needed to be to describe a particular scene I had experienced, that I had literally forgotten about the assignment only requiring four pages. Here is one such description from The Faux Fleet Dog, “My inhales and exhales trembled as I started toward the piers. As I approached, there a was mix of the smell of the ocean and something near to lightly burned motor oil, seagulls swarmed the air above, and the groups of birds that flew low, squawked and hopped along and in between sailors and civilians alike, these birds fought and scurried away anything resembling something to eat, from each other. (4)” I would later discover I had written seven pages …show more content…
With a racing mind, I could not sleep. I tossed for a while and even longer. Finally, I remembered how to sooth my mind and that night I wrote a poem:” the previous sentence completely tells the reader generally what the author is feeling and then suddenly sprang a poem on them, what should have occurred was a not so obvious step-by-step push into it, an edited version of the same sentence shows this example, “The ship at that time was a strange place to me, there was so much unknown. With such a contrasting environment to my normal surroundings, it immediately had an impact on my mind, filling me with inspiration, urging me to write over sleep. With a racing mind, I tossed for a while and even longer. Finally, I conceded and appeased my mind, that night I wrote a poem:” the edited version shows a more deliberate method of a growth in writing occurring in the author’s